Thus came writer's block followed by procrastination

I am not entirely sure if calling myself a "writer" is apt but I write, thus I am kind of a person who writes? Not so funny. I know. I guess I can say goodbye to the career in comedy now. Anyway, before the dreaded writer's block hit me, I was euphoric. Just bought this squeaky new website. Designed it to my liking. Made plans about writing blogs. What to, how to and when to write. But I guess you understand the problem now. I never got to the actual writing part. Work kept me busy. "Life" kept me busy. And in no time, I wasn't writing or thinking about writing anything. In the wee hours, when the thought of this blog came into my thoughts, a pang of panic, pinch of restlessness set in. I wanted to write, I wanted to build this beautiful thing that some people could enjoy.

When real-life bulldozes you and wakes you up from your nappy time that was college, it takes time for you to understand that life as you knew it has changed. And probably I am still waking up from the nap. Fresh out of college, amidst corporate colleagues and very few friends I started working for the first time in my life. The feeling was new, responsibilities new, stakes high. First time away from home, I had to take up duties that I didn't have to earlier. This blog was supposed to be my escape. Like an enormous grazing ground somewhere in the middle of nowhere where I was free to wander, explore different things, write about things that I found interesting.

But trouble came to paradise no sooner than expected. After the early euphoria, the spirit of wonder, exploring slowly died down. Now, when I thought of writing it felt like a burden. I had invested so much in the blog, devoted so much time designing it and now I am not even writing? What if I can't write? What if I can't write well? What if people don't like my writing? People will definitely laugh at my blog. Friends will ridicule me and make fun of me. Betwixt all the contradicting thoughts in my mind. I stopped writing and then started procrastinating. I would say to myself, maybe I will write when the right topic interests me. Maybe this weekend I will do my research for that piece. And admittedly I was thrown into the cycle of hell.

I didn't write. That made me feel bad. I felt bad, so I never got to the writing part. But today, it changes. I just sat myself down and said. If I am going to procrastinate, better write about it. Well, it doesn't mean I am over it but I have taken the first step towards it. YouTube is filled with people explaining how they overcame their procrastination. They did it themselves and then they try to help others through their experience. But here I am trying to overcome it and I want to share the process with someone. Whoever you are, you are one more reason that I will keep on writing until I cannot anymore.

I have found great resources that explain procrastination and how-tos and what to-dos to not fall into the trap. They helped me gain perspective. Sometimes you need to get out of your head to take a step back and see things from someone else's eyes. They are more qualified than me to talk about this particular field because they have been to the side where the grass is greener. For me, I am just starting on a path and I don't know where it will lead, but I sure do hope that grass isn't half as bad as it is on this side.